What Is My Now?

During my time In thesis I was having a very hard time situating my place and my voice in my own work and I very keen on not wanting it to be about me. I couldn’t see how it was because I was so fixated on the people I surrounded myself with; that being my immediate family, particularly my dad and my middle sister. I took part in watching their identities shift and change. I was always searching for ways to reveal the things we tried so hard to keep hidden and in that process I realized there was a lot I was not opening up about.

I noticed very complex structures in the way my mind chose to recall and identify memories. There are always a few things your memory tends to focus or obsess over and I remember how often this would happen to me. These snippets of my past, many were short in length but came with an immense load of sadness and guilt. Often they were minor things but they became very vivid signifiers of not only my fathers well being but my own and that of my immediate family. I became consumed by own being.

At this point in time I needed a way to organize and keep track of the overwhelming self work I was doing. So I began to jot down my memories, some took the form of short stories or a moment stuck in a past mental state. What started off as a very private, triggering and traumatic subject to unravel became an emotional outlet and the foundation to a lengthly healing process.

What Is My Now? is the prequel to D U E N D E

Private writings 2017-2018

12/12 screen prints, 2018